Prologue:
Dean and Sam Winchester are two brothers that traveling across the nation to hunt and kill demons. It's their job. It's what they are designed to do. It's what they have to do. And they are very good doing it.
But, what if someday Sam have to hunt the demons without having his brother around? What will Sam do when the demon finally takes Dean's life for the exchange for his?
...
I feel really upset right now. I just have a fight with my brother, Dean. And the topic nonetheless about his ignorance over his death that soon will come.
“Why you can be so calm like this? You’re going to die, Dean, and I feel so upset because I can’t find a way to save you and add with your ignorance!” I said.
“But I don’t want to be save,” I look at Dean with surprised.
“Can you just care about yourself for once?” Dean just smile.
I look straight at the street. I wished to get out from the car and leave Dean all alone, beside Dean doesn’t care anyway with my feeling. I’m tired keeping this feeling on my own. I’m tired of worrying, while Dean doesn’t care about himself. I close his eyes and laid back. I don’t want to think about the matter or about the hunting right now. I just want to get some sleep. I feel so tired. For how long we have been in the road? For how long since Dean made the agreement to trade his soul for me? Is it almost one year? Then Dean’s time is getting closer.
I thought I’ve done everything finding a way to save Dean, I even almost kill the demon which Dean made the agreement. But it’s useless; I always meet dead ends. Dean time is ticking, and I haven’t found a way. But is there really a way to escape from the agreement? The demon said no. She said whatever I do, it won’t save Dean. Dean will met his time and drags to the hell.
I quietly look at Dean who’s driving. His full attention is on the street. I don’t have any idea what Dean’s thinking while he’s driving. Would he think about his almost end time? Dean looks calm; maybe he doesn’t think it like I did. I don’t understand how Dean could be so calm like that, it’s about his life. Is it because Dean knows there won’t be a way out of it? Is it Dean has accepting his destiny? Is it Dean has give up just like that? I really don’t understand.
I remembered the first time I’m in to the hunting. Dean comes to picked me, and after Monica’s death, I have vowed to chase and hunt the demons along with Dean. Since then both of us lives on the road, from one city to another, from one demon to another, we hunt and also tracking our missing father. In the end, our father died exchanged for Dean’s life after we finally faced the demon that killed our mother. After father died, Dean becomes strange. I know he’s blaming himself for father’s death, but father has made his decision and Dean had no other choice than to accept it. But for a while, Dean’s feeling become quite good and we continue on our hunting. But then things got mixed up for me and Dean had to make the same agreement that father had in order to save me. Now, Dean only has less than a year, he is going to die and he still look calm. I just don’t get it!
I want to do something for Dean. I can’t remember since when, but Dean has always been there for me. He always cares for me more than dad. He has protected me and would sacrifice his live for me. I would do the same for Dean. He has always walked in front of me, and also right behind my back to take care of me. I don’t want him to treat me like I’m still a little boy, I want to be there at the same place with him, I want to be beside him, to take care of him too. I want to protect him as hard as I can, even though what happen sometimes aren’t exactly like I’ve plan it.
Well, yeah, Dean sometimes could be a pain in the ass. He really loves to eat and dating girls. He likes to drinks and gambles with the money we have from work. But, most of all he really loves to make jokes! It’s not a problem when there just both of us, but in a mission? Yeah, he also can be so annoying! But thanks to his jokes, our hunting feels not so hard. I wonder was it his way to make this hunting become easier and fun to do. Oh, yeah, I forgot, Dean also love to hunt, and sometimes he can be so strict and cruel with the demons. I understand that because sometimes I feel like to wipe them all out. They have took mom and Monica, also dad, they’ve hurt my beloved ones and many innocent people. And now they are going to take my only living family, my own brother. I can’t imagine what would live be without him. I have to do this hunting alone? Will I make it? I’ve get to use with Dean’s stubborn, with his not so funny jokes, with his dying love for the car; I don’t want to lose it all, even more I don’t want to lose him. He’s my brother; I don’t want him to die and go to hell.
I look at Dean who still concentrates with the street. I want to say something but I can’t find any words. I don’t want to bring up the conversations again, we would end fighting again. This silence killing me! If only I can die replacing him, I would be more than happy to do it. For Dean, I would do anything! I turn my look outside the window.
“Sam,” suddenly Dean calls me. I don’t answer him.
“Listen Sam, you know that there’s nothing we can do to broke the agreement, no matter what happen I will die,” Damn! I can’t understand why he can talk so calm like that.
“You know that, I know that, and dad also know that when he made it,”
“Then you would know my feeling right now, right? The same feeling you had when father die for you. You’re so annoyed back there, and you expect me to be calm?” I said with anger in my voice. Dean become quiet, I’m sure he understands my words.
“Yes, I know but I can’t let you die, Sam, I can’t let you die like mom and dad, I just can’t,”
“Why?”
“Because you’re my brother,”
“And you aren’t for me?” Dean becomes still again.
“Sam, I’ve done this work for my entire live, which will ended soon, I know the risk of this job, I’ve accept it. And there’s nothing in this world could stop me from protecting my family. I’ve fail with mom and also dad; I don’t want the same thing with you,”
“I want you to live a happy life,” I laugh.
“I would if you don’t ask me in the first place,” He smiles.
“I don’t want to lose you, Dean. I want to do something for you,”
“You can,”
“What?” I laugh again, this time quite hard and sound cynical.
“By staying alive,”
I look at him and he’s looking at me too. I know there’s nothing I can do to change his mind. Dean has made his decision. He won’t look for a way out to keep living. But I won’t give up. I will keep looking for the way to save him, even though I have to work together with the demon itself. I quietly look at Dean again; he has turned his look at the street. I don’t want to continue this talking, it would be useless. Dean doesn’t have to know what I’m going to do. I don’t care what he would say if he finds out that I won’t give up on him, to save his life. I’ve lost mom and dad, and I don’t want to lose the only one family left. Dean, my brother, I won’t lose you, I won’t.
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